Social Psychology with Jeff

I probably should not be here. I am currently a sixth year in a PhD program in Basic and Applied Social Psychology at Claremont University. I am writing this from the library overlooking another beautiful sunny day in Southern California. I have good friends and driven colleagues, and I am trying to spend every day living my best life.

And yet, I often think about all the paths and decisions that had to occur to get me to where I am today. I am probably not here if one decision was made differently or one situational context changed.

I probably should have lived in Guyana. My parents and almost everyone they knew immigrated from Guyana (a former British colony in South America). Guyana was poor in terms of GDP, but they were rich in culture and education. However, life post-independence from England was filled with political turmoil and fear. Anyone who had the chance to leave took it.

I could have been anywhere. I could have been born in Guyana and considered an illegal immigrant. I could have been born anywhere else: Florida, Utah, California, Toronto, Philadelphia, somewhere in Brazil, the UK, India, or anywhere else. But I was born in New York.

I could have remained a special-needs’ person. I had fluid in my ears growing up. It was undetectable until after I was three years old. I was considered a selective-mute until then. If I stayed in Guyana, I probably would not be able to verbally communicate.

I could have moved anywhere. But I stayed in New York. Or, more accurately, my parents stayed in New York. They worked and got skills and an education and did what they could to provide for us. They pushed my sister and I to do what we could and to make the best experiences for us. They allowed us to follow our dreams while teaching us how to persevere to achieve them.

I was interested in people because I didn’t have much friends growing up. I was an anxious awkward loner who just wanted friends, but didn’t know how to socially talk to people until 7^th and 8^th grade (shout-out to the teachers at OLPH, who are too numerous to name). Middle school is always tough, but it is tougher when that is the first chance to have friends (or to find out what it means to have friends)

I should not have been at Christ the King. I wanted to go to a different public high school instead. I did not want to go to Catholic School anymore, and I thought that I would do better elsewhere. I told Mom though that I would fill out the paperwork for CK though, and I ended up going to CK.

I probably remain more of a loner, but I was lucky to be a part of the CK class of 2008. Looking back now, CK ’08 was a great class filled with support, respect, and a strong work-ethic. You all are amazing, and I now know that what our high school class had was really rare.

(If you’re reading this from CK ’08, keep on living your best life.)

I could have not joined the high school Speech and Debate Team. I found out about it because the coach happened to teach the Chemistry section that I took, and I figured that I had nothing else to do. I joined the informational meeting saying that I would never attend a Friday practice. I would spend the next seven years directly in the activity in New York, and I would revisit it at an administrative level years later. I would miss my 10-year high school reunion because I helped to run a tournament.

I didn’t know that St. Francis College existed. However, I had a tournament there during the fall of my Junior Year of high school. I saw the campus and how it looked beautiful. I saw the people and saw how they looked happy. I saw myself there, and I thought that I would only apply there if I stayed in NYC. I ended up applying, getting a scholarship, and attending there for four years

(If you’re reading this from SFC, keep on living your best life.)

I shouldn’t have gone on Semester at Sea, but I was able to go because of the full scholarship and making the funding work (with the help of many generous family and friends). I don’t meet the people who inspire me to be the best version of my self otherwise. I don’t take that back to SFC and realize the people who I spent my life with there are the people who are actively making the world a better place in NYC and across the world. You all are also killing it and make me desire to be a better version of myself every day.

(If you’re reading this from SAS, keep on living your best life.)

I shouldn’t have accepted an internship in New Hampshire on four weeks notice, but doing Semester at Sea made me think that anything was possible. That makes my fellowship with the National School Climate Center more appealing, which turned into the best year of my life in terms of a work environment. NSCC gave me the clarity of what I wanted to do with my life and that I needed a PhD in Social Psychology.

I got my acceptance letter to my PhD Program at Claremont Graduate University while I was filling out my application to an Experimental Psychology MA Program at Brooklyn College. If I got my acceptance letter to Brooklyn College before my letter to Claremont, I don’t move to Los Angeles. And if that doesn’t happen, then every life decision and experience from the last six years would be different. Every single one.

When you get a minute—whether you are on a train that is delayed again because of train traffic ahead of you or stuck on a freeway during rush hour traffic, think about what led you to be where you are at now and who you met along the way. I am who I am because of people, circumstances, and preparation to know how to act during those circumstances. I am also here because of the hundreds of people who I met and interacted with in my life between then and now: people who remain in life until it ends, and people who I will probably never see again.

Life is hard work and dedication. Life is also a series of outcomes that are sometimes in our control. I don’t write any of this if any single decision changed, or if any context changed. I’m thankful for all of you that I met so far, and I am looking forward to whatever comes next.

Cheers, friends.