Social Psychology with Jeff

There are a few considerations that we must consider when pursuing a graduate degree or making a transition to a new job or opportunity. Some of them are simple and relevant:

1. Can I afford to take the position?
2. How will my income change after taking the position in the short and long term?
3. How will my life be better in three to five years after taking the position?
4. What are the costs of taking the position above staying where I am at currently?
5. Am I running towards something that I want? Or, am I running away from something that I do not want? (Note: If it is the latter, it will catch up to you eventually. Work on what you need to work on. Take it from personal experience).

Once you get there, there are a set of questions that leads to the short- and long-term success of people in these situations. In short, here are the most important questions for me (after accounting for finances and logistics):

1. Do people appear to be happy at this program/job/company/team?
2. Do people have the opportunity to grow into the person they want to become at this program/job/company/team?
3. What are the politics involved at this program/job/company/team, and how much of everyday life is consumed by these politics?

The department where I am getting my PhD has been an apparent unicorn in terms of its culture. On average, students appear to be happy and have opportunities to grow. Politics do exist, but they are much lower than comparable departments and programs. I do not regret my decision to get my PhD at my department, which is the best outcome that I can wish for when pursuing a seven- to eight-year process.

Unfortunately, we can sometimes make mistakes when it comes to looking inwards at our school or organizational cultures. I did so in Fall 2017, when I pulled away from the department after a series of incorrect decisions. I thought that the culture was irrevocably worsened over trivial issues and that it was time to pull away. It led to experiences outside the department, which did lead to meaningful personal growth and fulfillment.

But sometimes, life happens. When life happens, you end up in a place that is different than you expected.

In my case, that meant returning to an environment that was different from the last time I was meaningfully involved in it. The faces changed, as many colleagues that I knew graduated years ago. New people were responsible for the culture of the program, and I found myself more of an outsider than an integral part of the culture–a role that I had three to four years prior.

I did not know what to expect. There was no guarantee for a second chance, much less one with a group I haven’t meaningfully talked to in two years.

But I got lucky. It turns out that other people took reigns on the department culture, and it was better than ever. People were happy. People were growing. People were good people. And, most fortunate for me, they were accepting of someone who was closer to their way out than in, but who had few places left to turn.

Pursuing a PhD is the hardest journey I have taken so far. I was fortunate to choose my department years ago, as the overall culture was the best to surround ourselves with. I am fortunate now as I have been welcomed back, as the culture today is great.

I have tried to pay it forward in 2019. I will try to pay it forward in 2020, as we try to become happier and grow into the persons we wish to become. I hope 2020 is everyone’s year.

Cheers, friends. Let’s live our most authentic lives.